I’ve been doing some research and I know what I’ve learned from OCAD. That I don’t want to be in this field. I’d rather be doing something useful that contributes to society. I’ve been considering what that might be and I’ve realized that I have an interest in the paramedicine/social work fields. My parents upon whom I am dependent on, want me to get a degree by continuing on at OCAD. I would much rather take a year off and go back to high school to take the bio/chem/math courses I need for paramedic school. I’ve come up with a compromise that I think they’ll agree to.
- A bachelor in social work would give me an edge and provide a back up
- Being a paramedic would be what I wanted.
To do this I’d have to obviously not go to OCAD.
Ryerson is a good option. York….if desperate.
Paramedicine and social work and firefighting are all overlapping areas. And while I don’t want to be a firefighter it’s nice to work in that field.
Right now it’s confusing. I don’t know a lot of things but I do know what I don’t want. Behold a list of exactly one item…..
- I don’t want to attend OCAD or obtain a degree from there. This is because I’ve realized that I don’t want to work in the art field on anything more than a hobby/volunteer/part-time basis. Even currently the workload is leading to a case of burnout which I really really really don’t like. I love making art; it’s an important part of my life and I don’t want to risk it. I have no objection to taking a few classes there in the future because I do like learning what they have to teach.
So it’s kind of a confusing time right now for me. I’m in uni at a place I thought I would like but it turns out I really really don’t. It’s difficult I guess to realize where you are and I know intellectually that everyone goes through this in their first year but it still feels like a massive fuck up. I know how I got here though and that was by being passive and a non contributor to my own life. I understand that if I want to be happy I have to change that. I have to change me. This is the place where as Rilke says “You must change your life.”